Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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