Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
