Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
