im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
