i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
