In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sorry my hands just texted you
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my poor anus
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
