Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
