At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I checked into jail on foursquare
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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