Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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