Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I believe in your delicious
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
