found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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