I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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