brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
