I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
