If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
