Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
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First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
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I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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