My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
