the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
