that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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