either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Damn victory sex feels great
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize