Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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