I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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