I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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