5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
