OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i was born a porn star she said
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
