I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?