Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.