Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Be still, my beating vagina.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.