having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!