You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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