one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
