Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
