It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
