that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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