how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
