It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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