Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
