It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
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I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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