I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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