On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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