that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
