Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
