omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
