hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
