Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
