we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
