I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
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Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
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I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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