good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
