only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
