How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
