they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You ruined the universe
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
