i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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