the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
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so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
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I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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