I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
