Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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