I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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