You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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