it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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