sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
