Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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