i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
