Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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