i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I believe in your delicious
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
